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Articles
and Books: From Here to Siberia
by Joseph Graf Part I: Introduction Part 1: Introduction Hello all! Five days and counting until the "From Here to Siberia Saga" begins! We've set up this hotmail account, so we can send and receive mail while in Russia. Too much going on here to detail. Making arrangements with doctors, obtaining funds, getting all the paperwork together, trying to figure out how to get all of our stuff into carryon bags, millions of last minute stuff...oh and finishing up my finals. Starting to get nervous, excited and generally wound up (Jetlag? HA! I haven't slept in DAYS!!) More than anything, we're just happy to finally get moving! The waiting is hard, but it will probably be even worse after we have pictures and info and have to wait for our court date. We'll do our best to keep you updated and hopefully we'll have baby pictures to send around upon our return! See you all soon! Love, Part II: We're Out of Here!! The countdown is over and D-Day has arrived. We were up until 2:30 last night double and triple checking our paperwork, documents, and supplies. We are all packed and ready to go (or as close as we're going to get anyway). Our friends Todd and Nicole are coming to pick us up at 12:30 to drive us to National Airport. From there we catch a shuttle to JFK and connect to Moscow. We should arrive in Russia sometime around 1-2 am EST. We found out today that our meeting with the Ministry of Education is not until Tuesday, (we thought it was going to be Monday) so it looks like we will not have to catch the redeye to Yekaterinburg after all. We'll probably lay over Sunday night in Moscow and catch a flight to Yekat on Monday morning (Russia time). Right now, we are both puttering around the house trying to stay busy, but it's hard to focus on any one thing for very long. Nervous and excited would be an understatement at this point. So, before I start to ramble aimlessly here, I will end this email. Thanks to you all for your support this week. We appreciate all of the emails and phone calls. Believe me, it helps to know that you are all out there pulling for us! So this is it, we're out of here! Got a plane to catch. There's someone we have to go meet! Talk to you later. Lots of love, Part III: Greetings from Yekaterinburg!! Hello all! We are alive and well in Yekaterinburg, Russia! The trip was pretty rough (I'm sugarcoating). Got delayed out of DC due to storms over NJ. By the time we got to JFK, we missed our connection to Moscow by 6 minutes. After Delta got through explaining why it wasn't really their problem, they rerouted us to Venice, Italy with a connection to Moscow. Once there, things got really fun. Delta basically told us that we were no longer their problem since our connection to Russia was on Aeroflot (something they didn’t bother to tell us when we were at JFK) and refused to do anything else to help us. We had problems with baggage, since we carried on (good thing), but Aeroflot restricts the amount you can bring on. Security was giving us a big hassle and the Delta guy we talked to was a nightmare. At one point he said, “When you are ready to shut up I will talk to you” and started talking on his cell phone. Finally, one of the security guys took pity on us and let us go through. So tired and cranky, we got on our connection to Moscow on an IL-86, which is a really old Russian plane about the size of a 747. Actually, Aeroflot's service was better than Delta’s. Outside of the obvious age of the plane, it wasn't bad, best landing of the trip!! Our facilitator, Valentine, met us at the airport in Moscow and drove us around Moscow for a bit to see the major sights (including Red Square) before taking us to the airport to catch a 1am flight to Yekaterinburg. Got here at 5:30 am. Our facilitators here, Iirna and Pavel met us and took us to our hotel, where we promptly collapsed and had a three hour nap until about 10 am. (Our first sleep in after 36 hours of travelling.) Then they took us around Yekat. today. We're starting to get acclimated a bit. Our meeting with the Ministry of Education is tomorrow (Tues) at 3pm. If the orphanage is in Yekaterinburg, we might go meet the baby afterward. If not, we'll go Wednesday. Hopefully, the first one will be our baby, otherwise we have to go back to the Ministry and try again. So, no word yet on when we'll be back. Just wanted to send an update to let everyone know we're here and doing okay. More to come, stay tuned. Love, Part IV: No Good News Thank you for all the good wishes, jokes, and stories. It helps. Unfortunately, the news is not that good. Things have not improved much since the trip. We met with the Ministry of Education on Tuesday afternoon, and the first question they asked was, "why are you here?" Not a good sign. When we asked “What do you mean?” they said both of you (we were in the room with the other couple we traveled with) are looking for children between 6 and 12 months, we don’t have any children less than 12 months available. Apparently, there was some mix up in communications along the line and they don't have any infants here. Don't ask, we have no idea how this could happen. We are learning why the mantra for this process is "be flexible," because nothing is as we expected. The only boy available was 2 1/2 years old. We went out to see him and he was very bright and cute, but we are just not ready to jump right in with a child that old. There is a whole set of issues that goes along with that, that we are just not ready for. So we had to reject him, which in and of itself was a horrible thing to have to go through. Suffice to say Tuesday was not the best day of our lives. To make matters worse, the couple we are traveling with got a referral for a 17 month old girl who they accepted, so they were very happy. We are happy that things have worked out for them, but we're just not in a place where we can share that with them right now. They left for the states early this morning. So we went back to the Ministry yesterday and asked them if they had any girls that were younger. (Our facilitator told us that they might have more girls available than boys right now.) There are two possibilities, both about 11 months old. So we were in a bit better spirits last night, hoping that things were turning around for us. We drove out to the orphanage this morning to see the first girl, Tamara. The drive was about 30-40 minutes outside of Yekat. in Revda, and when we got there, she was not there. She has been in the hospital with bronchitis for the last 3 weeks. So we went over the medical info. with the doctor, while we waited for them to go get her. The news is not good. She is one of a twin (the second born), but her sister might have died during the six months they were in the hospital after birth. Records are sketchy on that. The orphanage director described the hospital she was in as “very bad.” They didn’t even take the children out for walks. Her mother was a drug addict and got no medical care during her pregnancy. She is very underdeveloped and her head circumference is 4.5 standard deviations below the mean (that is VERY bad). She may have been exposed to AIDS, but has tested negative twice. She is unable to sit up by herself, but can stand, with alot of support. They know that her brain was deprived of oxygen for some period during the birth, but they don’t know for how long. She looked very pale, tired, lethargic and unresponsive, but it is hard to tell if that is not just from being sick and hospitalized for so long. She has moved around from facility to facility a lot and there is a concern of attachment issues. She wouldn’t look at anyone in the room, even people she has presumably seen before. To top things off, she is going to have tests at some point, because they think there might be something wrong with her heart. She was a very cute little girl, blonde hair, blue eyes, but as you can see, we have to consider more than that. We are going to talk to our doctor tonight, but it does not look good. The other little girl has not been formally released by her family yet, so there are legal issues on her. We are not sure whether she will be available for international adoption right away because the children have to be available for Russians to adopt for several months first. We're heading back to the hotel right now to check on what's up with that. The only bright spot so far has been the doctor that we hired to come down, Dr. Belova. She is extraordinary. She had to go back to Moscow yesterday, but she is coming back on Monday and we are faxing her the medical records for review. We are also going to call an adoption doctor back in the states for help too. The facilitators/translators are very nice, but I think that their hands are very much tied as to how much they can do for us by the system. They are trying, but so far to little avail. In addition, our original facilitator, Irina, has had some type of emergency and isn’t available right now, so they’ve found an alternative person to translate for us. Unfortunately, Olga has no experience with adoptions. Apparently she is a English teacher for young children. Her English is adequate but not really up to the demands of translating medical information. She worked really hard with a dictionary and finding alternate words and we were able to figure out most of the things the doctor at the orphanage was telling us, but it was another layer of difficulty and stress for us. So that's where we are. Wish the news was better, but we're going to keep trying. Does not look like we will be home before next week at the earliest. We will try to keep you updated, but the post office is a bit of a hike from the hotel and it is hard to get the time to come up here. We love you all, Part V: Proving it’s always darkest... What a difference a day makes. We woke up today facing the very real possibility that we would run out of time and money and have to head home without a referral. But today I think we met our daughter... We went to the Ministry today and had to turn down Tamara. She was just too sick for us to take care of. They gave us a new assignment and we traveled out to a hospital a little over an hour away (120km). As we pulled in, we got a good feeling. We had seen this hospital before in a picture our agency had shown us and they said it was a very good one. We sat in the director's office and they brought in 9 month old Svetlana bundled up in a warm outfit (it was cold this morning). They handed her to Maggie and she showed us how good her lungs were. Oh boy, did she show us!! We managed to get her to stop crying, but she was still not happy about this whole thing.
The only note of caution is that she is under surveillance for a heart noise. They don’t know what it is. It might be a heart murmur or possibly a “stenosis of the pulmonary artery,” a narrowing of the artery basically. That would be the more concerning diagnosis, although while she was crying, the doctor did point out that she wasn’t turning blue or red. Those are both good signs that her circulation is good, which it wouldn’t be with a serious narrowing of the pulmonary artery. We are going to go back on Tuesday with Dr. Belova for a physical and a medical opinion, but it is mostly just for our information and an opportunity to see her again before we leave for the States. Unless the diagnosis is very grim, we are going to take her. I doubt it will be. She is too strong and well-developed to have a serious heart problem (Dr. Belova has reviewed her medical information does not believe it is anything too serious). In addition, our agency had the medical information translated and sent to Dr. Aronson in New York. We should get her opinion before we return on Tuesday. If it is anything to worry about, we have Children's Hospital and Johns Hopkins close by in DC. She will be in good hands. There are risks in everything and she is definitely worth whatever risk comes with her. DON'T WORRY, this is not an over reaction to a stressful week. She was THAT perfect (wait until you see the pictures!). Oh yeah, in case you’re wondering, this is the same girl that we thought there were some legal problems with. It turns out that we had a translation problem and misunderstood the problem. They weren’t waiting for her to be released by HER family, but she had actually been referred to another American family. Basically, that family had to formally reject her by writing a letter to the Ministry of Education before she could be referred to another family. I have no idea why the other family rejected her. We speculate that they were concerned about the heart condition. We've had two doctors tell us not to worry about it, so we're not, but I could see where it would give a family without a doctor’s opinion pause, especially if this was the first child they visited. Bottomline is that we are, of course, ecstatic that they recognized she wasn’t meant to be their daughter, because she is definitely meant to be ours! Also, yes, we did have to write a letter to the Ministry of Education rejecting each of the other children we’ve seen before we could receive another referral. It wasn’t long and didn’t have to give a detailed reason, but each was a terrible letter to have to write. We also have to write a letter accepting Svetlana. That letter will be a joy to write! So we are going to spend the weekend here in Yekat. There is a big festival this weekend (City Day), so there will be plenty to do. If all goes well, we could be heading home by mid-week. Now we just have to wait for the paperwork to process and we can bring Ekaterina Jeanine Graf (her new name) home to Virginia. Thanks for all of your support! The sun is shining in Russia!
Had a nice weekend here. The festival was quite a sight. We went to an antique car show, watched some shows and walked all over the city center checking things out. We didn't go back for the night festivities. We were tired and our facilitators were very concerned about us getting lost in the huge crowds they were anticipating. We were too spent from the week anyway. Spent some of Sunday shopping and wandering around the marketplace. Things are still on track with Svetlana. Dr. Belova is flying in this evening and we will all head out there tomorrow morning for her check up. Could be leaving Yekat. by tomorrow night to catch a Wed. flight out of Moscow, if all goes well. We have heard from Dr. Aronson (back in NYC), who is reviewing Sveta's medicals. She is not concerned about the heart issue and only wanted to see the most recent measurements before she offers an opinion. In itself, this is good news. The weekend has been dragging by waiting to go see her again. Can't wait to get home. The sooner we are there, the sooner we can get back here to bring her home. This is going to be a wait that stops time! We'll let you know when we get home and keep you updated if there is anything else to tell from here. Hope all is well Stateside.
We're back!! Stateside!! America, Hooooooo! It's nice to travel, but I always feel good making that walk down the ramp toward customs. I spoke to my sister this morning and she pointed out to me that we never sent out a wrap up and kind of left everyone hanging there for a little bit. Sorry about that, things moved pretty quickly there at the end. Tuesday morning we took Dr. Belova out to the hospital where Katia/Sveta is staying. She seemed much more relaxed this time around and we didn't have to spend the first half hour trying to calm her down. Dr. Belova is not concerned about the heart problem and our American doctor we have been conferring with, Dr. Aronson, agrees. It is a condition that will require monitoring for a few years, but as long as the blood flow remains good, it should not be a problem for her. There is a POSSIBILITY that heart surgery could be required later, but it is not likely. If it is required, it is not a major procedure (as heart surgeries go, anyway). Worst case scenario in a Russian orphanage could be pretty grim, due to lack of funds, equipment and medical technology. In the States, however, it is unlikely to be more than something to monitor and treat as needed. Even the Russian doctors admit that the medical care she can get here is superior to anything available in Russia. It really makes you appreciate what we have. Other than that, she has some of the usual assortment of institutional issues, such as rickets (vitamin D deficiency), self-soothing disorders (tongue chewing), and some minor physical and developmental delays. Nothing that isn't very common among Russian orphans. Mostly correctable with a good diet, attention, stimulation, some sun and exercise and possibly vitamin supplements and light physical therapy. Basically, the outlook is good and all systems are go. We accepted the referral and notified the Ministry of Education of our intention to adopt her. Now we just have to wait for our court date. They are predicting 6 weeks, but they said it almost never takes longer than 8 weeks. We're holding out hope for sooner, but there is no way to tell how realistic that is. No matter how soon it is, it won't be soon enough for us. Her first birthday is November 4 and we are hoping that we will be able to throw her a party in Virginia by then. Keep your fingers crossed. The trip back was largely uneventful. The flight from Yekat. to Moscow on Ural Airlines was a little freaky due to chop and the crack early 70's technology imbedded in our Tupelov (??) aircraft, but we got there okay. Stayed overnight in a HUGE hotel near Red Square, Rossia. We had some time in the morning, so we walked over to Red Square and took pictures and video. Pretty weird feeling standing there in front of St. Basil's, the Kremlin and Lenin's tomb. Probably a pretty similar feeling a Russian would get standing on the Washington Mall or Times Square. It did help that we were feeling a lot better by that time. Flight back to the States was okay. Delta Boeing 767. I'm still not floored by the level of service that Delta has provided. We are probably going to "give them an opportunity" to make it up to us on the second trip with an upgrade to business class **:-)** but I'm not really holding my breath. If they are not willing to offer us some restitution for the monumental disaster they stuck us with on the trip over, we will probably fly Aeroflot on the second trip and generally avoid Delta flights in the future. Life is too short to be treated like dirt by an Airline that loses money every year (no wonder!). It was hard to leave Russia. I've already started to develop paternal feelings for Katia/Sveta and it really went against my instincts to leave her behind, even though I knew that I had no choice in the matter. I found myself staring out the window of the plane hoping that I never have to leave her behind again. It was hard, but we really wanted to get home. Although one has nothing to do with the other, we both kind of felt that the sooner we got home, the sooner we could return to bring her home for good. We landed in JFK and met up with my sister sooner than anyone could ever expect to find anyone at JFK (those who have been there will understand). We're staying here in NY until Saturday morning, when we will catch a flight back to DC to meet up with Maggie's parents. It's going to be tough to head back to work on Monday. We watched the video with my mom and sister and they both said it is pretty good. You really get a good feeling for what she's like. Personally, I don't think it does her full justice. You just have to meet her in person. We got the still photos developed today and there are some really good shots. I'm going to pick up the CD-ROM tomorrow afternoon, so JPEGs will follow shortly. Before I get any more grief from the peanut gallery about not having a digital camera, it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I wouldn't have had enough time to send them from the Russian computers at the post office anyway (assuming I could have even successfully downloaded them in the first place). Suffice to say, my old Pentium 133 at home looks like kind of a heavyweight compared to those dogs! What do you want for a ruble a minute for internet time ($2 an hour)? So that's pretty much all there is to tell right now. We'll let you know as soon as we get a court date. In the meantime, we have some INS paperwork to get together, some more documents to prepare for the agency and the Russian court and we're going to paint the nursery and get her room set up. I couldn't muster up the energy to do it earlier, but now I have a reason to get on it. We'll have plenty to keep us busy while we wait. Thanks once again for all of your messages and support. When things got really bleak over there, it was nice to know that we were not alone. It made more difference than you can ever know. We hope to see you all very soon! Signing off (for now!), Love, |
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